The rail rode gently through the fog of the eve of winter, snow fell gently. The fine powder lay against the sides of the roads. The blues and purples of the early sunset clashed gently with the orange hues. Mary was given a seat by an old gentleman, she was heavy with the day and carrying John inside. The rail clambered rattled and made frequent stops.

On the 22nd day of December, John entered the world. In the bright lights of the sterile room, he was spanked- alit by the pain of the material-world, ” I here by affirm you as John, by your mother, your father and the great state of——.”

John wobble as he tried to walk around. The floors were wood so his tiny little feet could hardly hold his weird weight. Oddly bobbing and swerving, after so many months of crawling, John finally made solid step after step. In the next few months, John will still stride awkwardly but his quick ambulation made no thing and nothing scared and free from his little grasps. Soon the boy would learn to climb.

Late night found exploring within and without- facilis et pleasing in its solitary logos, practice forms of a formless rudimentary things forsaken by pleasantries of polite sociable conversation. Forgive me! Forgive me for I know not, this special uniqueness, John felt alone with his spirit.

Clubbable chaps chatted about things John could not even conceive of. Jim, Tim, Tom, Bobby and the other boys cursed and said blasphemy against their teacher, the state and anything possible. Every morning they would recite what their teacher told them to, and at the bus-stop the boys would recite by memory what they learnt from the older boys.

Despite being so far away, his father talked endlessly of the New York Yankees. The boy knew every player on the roster. The greyish spectacle filled the room. His father played in school. His father was both cold and warm, spoke quietly about being young, but only spoke of the sport he played. His parents arrived in New York, the were given new names. The legacy was lost.

On a clean spring evening, the Yankees played the local team. The two arrived in the stadium. They sat silently until the game favored the Yankees. The conversation came forward but without the depth to heavy the jovial mood. John’s father left during the stretch, in his callous hand he held a tray with two hot dogs and two beers. “Don’t tell your mother.” John at fourteen, took a sip of the beer and a bite of the hotdog. “Amen.”

John was told to wait by the phone. The girl told him to wait for her call. His mind wanders, it left his control. After the meal he sat while attempting his Algebra. The sketch of the six was penciled over and over again. The phone heavy sat silently on the table. It had a tone, she might have rung when he checked it. He pushed all out, it found its way right back. Jennifer, Jennifer, Jennifer- the phone static never startled- Jennifer. The enthusiasm waned. Anger came forth.

June bugs filled the air and the yellow bulbs of bugs flashed around. The very evening of his first true drive, when he was assured of his control despite his passengers. Katy, blonde made up so nice, held her hands together in her lap. The green grass muted almost by the waxing moon, nary a cloud in the summer sky. They escaped the festival together frightened and timid- yet the two were determined. Sitting together on the hill the looked forward with not a word that could emerge, the little Katy sat as close as she could to John. He put his arm around her, feeling of her dress pressed against his skin. He looked into her eyes and she looked into his. They pressed the lips together.

He walked the aisle with his cap, his name was called, then he shook the man’s hand. He had never spoken to the principal and yet he shook his hand. His mother and father met him in the parking lot.

He went back to the store and filled the shelf like he did for many days. Soon he was to be relieved. Soon he would be with the boys drinking at the hall. Soon he got another job. He dated a woman name Carol. He dated a woman named Samantha. He barely learned to cook. He could iron better than most. He saw movies at the theater. He played pool with James, Bob, and Randal. He bowled with them too.

Some evenings, or rather most evening, creeping gnawing thoughts of boredom and death lingered until dawn. Dusk was ready to unravel John, it was best not to think of such things. He gathered his strength for the daylight, but as open evenings came- illuminations of doubt, wonderment, and ponderous boredom rattled in his mind. The curiosity was gone on those weary nights. It was best to be amongst the world then with the static radio and television noises.

His father passed away. He had stroke.  Many Aunts and Uncles came to his funeral. There was the Priest who said nothing special about one of his parishioners. His mother, Mary, was solemn. She would not move away from her home. John tried his best to care for his mother but she would not let him. She in turn tried to take of him. He looked through the man’s life and uncovered all the secrets that were held away. The various tomes of recordings of a man life were held in a few boxes in the attics. He saw pictures, homework, school year-books, birth certificates, purchases of appliances, and other items. He kept all of the Yankee memorabilia. He stored them away

He married a woman named Alice on March 23rd,  “I, John , take you, Alice , for my lawful wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health.” He kissed her. Randal spoke drunkenly but reserved at the reception. They had three children, John Jr, Mary, and Jacob. John Jr had trouble in school. He seemed to have problems with every part of it. He tried but he could not keep still. John Jr like to let his mind wander. Mary was shy and reserved. She fought with Alice on occasion but would cry and apologize. Jacob was the best student in his class. Jacob played little league and then played in school.

John had long found a job, after he married he went to school at nights, and landed a job in a nice office. At first he called people, he was far from shy. He would write on papers and note everything he had to. He bought fine liquors for his boss on Christmas. He would attend all the office parties. After a while, he was promoted, and then he was promoted again, and then again. Many of his coworkers left for other work. He was moved to the new office building in another city. He lost track of what he was supposed to do, he had no clue what his mission was anymore. There seemed to be a lot of paper work, a lot of mailing, a lot of meetings, and a lot of calling people. He was promoted again. He forgot his title. He lost some of his work to a woman who sat in front of his office. She called and mailed things for him. He had to buy her gifts for Christmas too.

Alice and John would fight some times. He did not yell at her and she hated that. Then, they would make up. He tried really hard but he always felt wrong, until he realized that she and him could not split up easily. That thought relieved him. He told the truth as much as he could with her. He tried and she tried.

John Jr was immune to lectures. John Sr would read the newspapers on Sunday, as the boy watch cartoons. John sat in his chair and little John laid on the ground. He was a baby once, John thought. That routine evolved. He tried to help John Jr with his homework and tried to teach him. The boy really tried. Mary was always faithful to her father. She loved him and would draw pictures of daddy, she pointed to the details. She was very kind to Jacob. Jacob was the only one who would go to the games with his father. They spent quiet times together. John Jr did not go to fancy school but he did go. Mary went to the state-school and found herself there. She would bring home boys for the holidays. Jacob went off to a fancy school somewhere remote. He rarely came home. John Sr had three grandchildren.

John retired with his pension. He tried to keep busy. He visited his parents graves only twice after his mother died. She always came for the holiday. She never let on that she was sick. He thought about his mother a lot when he retired. She had always been there for him. He never realized he impact on him.

John died on May 14th, at eighty years old. He died in a recliner chair from heart failure. What was his final thought as a being of this world? What was the man

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